Well it has been awhile. I have been busy doing life....interesting. I come from a place of what's next? I feel like I have been in this place for awhile, trying to talk myself into just being right here. Needing to know the how, the when, the time frame, blah blah blah. So exhausting. The Universe, God, Source, can not take you there when you are so caught up in the HOW! Why is it so hard for us to trust that it is already done. Staying present, really just enjoying what is in front of us.

You all know my boys are pretty enlightened, well I was having a conversation with Nolin the other night. He was sharing with me just this topic and telling me how he does it. Sigh....He said he has his "big picture" his future reality, I like that, and their are stairs leading to it. he tackles one stair at a time, each day is a stair. Wow. My son. He said mom you taught me this. I looked at him and paused. He said, why is it so hard for you? Holy cow.

God gives us gifts everyday, everywhere, in all corners. Sometimes those little nuggets are under our nose, but we are so busy trying to figure out the How, when where and why we can miss out. Don't sweat the small stuff. Take a moment to sit with someone who is right in front of you everyday and really listen to their heart, ask them questions, share stories, just be present. Until next time (It wont be so long, lol) Much love. Have a safe Halloween everyone!!

Sitting right where you are.

When do just accept where we are? When do we stop trying to change what is just perfect for us? I have been listening to a lot of Abraham Hicks, The Law Of Attraction. The feeling, giving yourself permission to feel good. Paying attention to what does not feel good. We really can have anything we want, really. No joke! I remember sitting and watching Greta Van Susteren on Fox one night and saying to I am going to get on a plane to Appleton and am going to sit next to her and tell her that my mom Use to catch up with your dad at the local Supper Club.. I could actually FEEL it, that it was going to happen. I was on my way home to close up some things and I walked on the plane looking for my seat and who am I sitting next to...Greta. Seriously.

I had this idea of what I thought I was suppose to do, I was suppose to do all this stuff right now in my career, create more, make so many changes. I finally realized I am doing all that right now with these amazing kids I have, I am supporting them, I am there for them so they can sore, so they can achieve exactly what they want. This is where I need to be, here for them. I have created a life so that I can witness them growing leaps and bounds. We want our kids to do better, Take the good and let go of stuff that does not serve them. They are my greatest teacher.

Realizing this has been so freeing, to know that what I am doing right here right now is exactly where I need to be, the best feeling in the world! So as I say, I FEEL free, this is what I am talking about. Embrace what is in the moment, for when we do whatever God has in store for us, in the Vortex, we will receive. Everything you want is right there for you, but first we must love where we are sitting right now. Until next time, much love.

Men-O-Pause....

And I am having a hot flash as I type and just pulled a chopstick out of the kitchen drawer to get my hair off my neck. I understand why woman cut their hair off as we mature...why does it start at the back of the neck?! Anyway. This thing called Menopause; The definition is the ending of your cycle. That's it, that is all it says. For real. Oh my goodness and I don't even know where to begin. One thing I know for sure is I get why my mom was the way she was. Kinda crazy.

Night sweats, hot flashes, anxiety, memory loss, short temper, emotional, indecisive, weight gain, metabolism slows down, sex drive slows down, and on and on. Oh and our kids are going through puberty also. I am glad I have boys. No one can really warn you about what you are going to go through and it just starts to happen, maybe you start with night sweats, then you have some anxiety. A Little crabby here and their you think nothing of it..PMS you blame it on, Then it comes more often, having a hard time being around a lot of people? Wake up at 3 AM almost every night and can not fall back to sleep? Does everything your partner does drive you crazy? Do you cry...at the craziest times?! seriously. OMG Windows rolled down in the middle of winter.

We do have to give some applause to the people in our lives that are around us all the time. The hormone struggle, to do it natural or to break down and get some hormones. I did my Perimenopause all natural, I just went into to Menopause in January. Only 48 and full on Menopause, sheez. I may have to break down and ask for help. It may save someones life, lol!!

So here is what I have learned. Drinking in moderation is best, cutting out a lot of sugar helps, exercise keeps you feeling better about eveything, especially because for some their can be weight gain. Meditaion has really helped with the anxiety. I think that has been the hardest thing for me. Remember my sweet friends if you need something to move you through this ask, that has also been hard for me. I am not a pill taker, part of the anxiety, but I would rather not be miserable anymore. Until next time. Much love

Sometimes we need to forget what WAS familiar.

Read that header again, Sometimes we need to forget what was familiar. April, my trainer said this to me in conversation. I had to put it in my phone because that is so simple but yet can be so challenging. It plays out in so many parts of our life. Eating habits, sleeping patterns, relationships, etc. What does it take for that to sink in? How long does it take?

I have been working with April for 2 weeks now. I am having to retrain my brain to forget what was familiar... again. I have thought a lot aboiut the mind piece of weight loss. The impact the weight loss has on you; not only visually, but mentally. If we don't tend to the mental part, we sabotage the visual. Let me break that down. I lost 80lbs. I look very different to eveyone, but to me I have only lost maybe 20 visually. My mind still sees me at the same weight. How do we get the real us in our head? Visually AND menatlly?! I will let you knowwhen I get there.

This is why I work with April. April holds me accountable for my mind and knows that she can easily help the visual. Real is important to me and April is that. She has some great tips too !!
Nurition Tip: Remeber that water is essential for weight loss! Not only does drinking plenty of water help you lose weight, it also gives you more energy, strength and ambition for your workouts. The recommended daily consumption of water is .5 ounces per pound of body weight. So an average 150 lb. person should drink 75 ounces of water daily for optimal performance.
Fitness Tip; Your fitness goal should looked at as a journey, not a destination. You did not gain the weight in a week, so you will not lose it in a week. Each day, each workout is a chance to marvel over your progress. Admire you determination to stay the course, to really dig into the very heart of who you are. This is a journey! A fantastic one. You wont reach your goals in a week, so relax, just take the first step into your own journey and move forward everyday.

So if what we are doing does not serve us in a healthy way...it is time to forget what WAS familiar. Bring the mind to the visual, the present. Bring the mind to who we are now without the old thoughts. The feeling that one more walking lunge is exactly what I need!!!! Check out www.ascent-fitness.com Until next time. Much love.

The beauty in a life passing on.

The outside of her house was immaculate; the inside was full of fear, organized chaos and not letting go. Let's just say my mom would have needed a couple credit cards for the baggage. After my mom passed, being the only child, I was to take a look into what she had left behind. You could say; I really got to know my mom and what a gift it was with a tremendous amount of healing.

The house description is such a perfect metaphor for the appearance of my mom. Always put together from head to toe, but on the inside she was packed full of stuff. My childhood was rocky, lets just leave it at that. You can say I overcame a lot. For that I am am grateful. Up until my 30's I was really a victim of my youth and what my mother had put me through. I say it that way because it feels like that in the mind of a victim. One day in a counseling session, my counselor looked at me and asked me why I was such a victim. I responded with a list of things my mother "did" to me. She just shook her head and said; are you going to keep that for the rest of your life, or are you going to forgive her and start living? She saved my life that day.

The sweetest gift in that was being able to accept my mom for who she was just as she was. The day she passed away I held no anger or resentment only love for her ...the INSIDE of her. When I started the journey of cleaning out a house that she could not and had not lived in for 10 years I Met my mother from the inside out. Her fear brought out the OCD and hoarding disorder. I called it "An archaeological dig". The things on top were from the last year living there all the way down to her birth. I really could go on and on about everything she kept to how many of the same things she had, but the real gift was I learned how much she loved me, which I had once had doubts because of actions.

Let go. Move on. Love. We miss out on so much when we hang on to STUFF. Get to know your parents, love them just as they are. from the inside out. If we don't know better, we don't do better. Know better. Until next time. Much love.

Feeling no need.

So When you finally get to that space when you are semi comfortable in this human suit. The moment when you begin to realize that the things that use to feel so big are really silly. I actually think about the things I use to worry about and shake my head. I have my 48th birthday coming up, 2 years until 50, and I have some goals set. With another decade coming, I feel a major shift with it and it is exciting. I have come to know me in the silence; sometimes it was forced silence. In it I let go of the fear. The unknown, the control, The anxiety, the worry. I had a need to fix it, whatever IT was. I wanted it all to be ok. Well sometimes OK is not OK. Sometimes we need to not be OK.

Are you a fixer? Do you like it all to be a "certain" way? You are going to drive yourself crazy. Another thing I learned about myself is you can not control the response of someone else. All you can do is let them respond, take it in. Take a moment to acknowledge what they are saying. I have found we are backed up with our past. I will explain...here comes another theory. So! You have heard the term "baggage" right?! We all have it. It just depends on if you are checking in at the airport with a carry on or you need a major credit card to pay for you "bags". Think about it. Like attracts like. When we get to a place where we can move about the cabin freely, we really want to attract someone who can do the same thing.

So, don't feel the need to be right, don't feel the need to fix it, don't feel the need to be defensive. Let go of the fear and just be. Be the amazing human you were created to be. Lead with love. Ask for help, embrace you as you. Go out to dinner by yourself and put your phone away, take in those around you in your own silence. You are amazing just as you are. I am grateful for each one of you in your human suits! You shine!!!! Until next time, much love.

Did he really just send me a picture of his....

I heard my text chime go off, picked up my phone and there it was. Have not even met yet and there it was. Shoot. Now I am not knocking what others do, but why before you even meet does it go there?  Are we that lost? What happen to the process of dating, the courtship? Why does that have to be old school? How about talking on the phone? Meeting in person BEFORE we start sending parts of our body?

So before I really began to find my grounding in who I really am and what I really want, I played into all that. Insecurity, word of the day. Feeling like I was not enough. We make silly decision when we are so uncertain of ourself. So what does it take to LOVE who we are? Letting go  of all the chatter in our ear. The old story, tapes, our past etc. What we think about we bring about, for real!! I am sure some of you have read, or have seen the movie, The Secret. Funny because it is not a secret. How about, Change your thoughts, change your life or The book, The Power of Positive thinking. All saying the same thing. So why don't we hop on the train? Why is it so hard to just be positive and happy with who and where we are right now? How about meeting yourself right where you are?

Once we settle into loving and respecting ourself only then can we attract what God wants for us. Get out of your own way. Right?! Let go, relax, breath. Life is pretty darn amazing. About 3 years ago I started seeing random hearts everywhere, it opened my eyes to the fact that there is so much beauty and love in the littlest things, and in places that you would not even normally notice. I started posting them on Facebook. A Really cool thing happened, other people started noticing hearts too and sending me pictures. So AWESOME. I am putting together a book with all of them. That is why we are I here, I believe, to share and pass on love by setting an example in the little things.

Dont settle, you know in your heart what you need. Be true to you. Love you. Dont be so hard on YOU. Ask for what you need. Lead with love. Listen to your insides, that inner voice. I call it a God whisper. Call it what you will, we all have it, TRUST  it. Then most of all share that love and compassion with everyone. We all need it. Until next time, much love.

Forgiveness is the place of peace.

So, what really triggers my next blog is what comes up more than once. As I sit here looking out my windows with an amazing view of the sunset and a full view of the mountain landscape, I sigh. Just moments ago meeting my neighbor across the street , for the first time, he recently moved back in to the house because of his divorce. This was obviously not his choice, which I gathered through our conversation. What is it? what happens? I know on my end and can only reference that. I have had comments and am getting friends thanking me for for the insight of the blog. What is hard to hear is that this thing called divorce is happening so much. 

My ex and I have worked consciously to get to a place where we are not the issue anymore. Our children are in the front line. Believe me it was really rough the first 3 years. I prayed everday for both of us to let our children be greater than our own egos and issues. I have so many stories on being a survivor of something that I did not think would happen, even though I asked for the divorce. When the dust clears and we are left with our selfs, then comes the question, who am I now? Where do I go from here? How do my children recover? How do I recover? 

Forgiveness. The first thing I would like to share is Please do not speak poorly about the other parent in front of your kids. This action creates nothing good or positive. Second, don't use your kids as pawns and pit them against one another. PLEASE. You made a choice together to be adults and bring them into the world, act like it. Third, forgive each other. Look At what you can do, to do things different. You can not change anyone but yourself, stay focused on that. Lead with love. Last, don't beat yourself up, be kind to you. You are going to need to be there for your children and then you will find they will be there for you. Until next time. Much love.

We're going to PUMP..YOU UP!!!

Welcome to cassiedoesblogging HEALTH. So if you remember a couple of blogs back, I said I had gained 20 lbs. back of the 80 that I lost with the ever amazing menopause. Well about 2 months back I ran into a friend of mine that I have not seen in at least 10 years, April Sharrock. April Co-owns Ascent Fitness 4697 E. Evans Ave. Denver.

April and I decided that she is going to train me and I am going to blog/brag about how amazing she is!! I am very excited. Every week I will share my progress and she will share a excersise tip and a nutrition tip, something to look forward to. So there is this really cool machine called the InfrafitX I will have all the details on it next week. April said it gets rid of CELLULITE! You know I am going to be in that everyday.

So here are your tips for this week:
Health tip: If you suffer from a sluggish Thyroid, and even if you dont, you can benefit from adding certain foods in your diet that are rich in essential Nutrients. These foods, like seafood, sunflower seeds, shrimp, seaweed, and turkey not only will help with the production of the thyroid horomone, but will also optimize the thyroid function.

Fitness Tip:
Running short on time? Maybe your motivation has slowed down? Don't skip your workout! Instead pick three excersises and do three sets of 20 of the three you chose. This way you are still moving, and heck it may even motivate you to keep on moving!!
 
So I am really looking forward to sharing with you how things move along!! April and I are also putting together a promotion to share with you in a couple of weeks. Check out all the things Ascent Fitness has to offer. www.ascent-fitness.com or you can call 303-759-5140. Until next week. Much love.

I am in my 30's, I am single and I don't have kids...

So this is an interesting conversation in my salon. I had 3 woman in the same day chatting about this. When something happens more than once for me in the same day I am curious, so here I am and it is the topic. Now ladies, I can sympathize but I can not empathize because I was married and having babies at 31. I remember never really having a biological clock ticking in my body to have kids. If I did not have kids by 35 I was totally fine.

I know there is a comment box below this Blog and I would love to hear from you ladies (hint hint) So, I am coming at you with another theory. We have changed as woman, on so many levels. This change can be a postive and can be challanging for us and for the guys out there. I am going to touch  this subject as PC as possible... Nah, that is not me. So my theory begins, we as woman have certain things in us that are just in us because we are woman. Men have the same things. God made us each a certain way..most of us. As time as gone forward we have evolved as humans so have the rolls changed. Men are staying home and woman are working, woman are in higher paying rolls, etc. you get where I am going. With these shifts and changes woman start expecting more and stop settling for average. Now guys I am not saying you are average, but this means more pressure on you to really step up.

So there is one thing ladies that I need to share, men need attention. Yes we need it to, but it is really important to let them know how much you appreciate what they do for you and the family. Just trust me. If we neglect this it goes south. Whatever your choice of who you chose to love the, Bottom line is, dont take each other for granted, remind each other how amazing they are!! Life is to short. Another book I highly recommend is The 5 Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to your Mate By Gary D. Chapman. Until next time, much love.

I have a theory...ok I have a few theories.

What do we ALWAYS say is the most important thing in a relationship....? Well mine is communication. So my theory begins here. I learned a lot from my divorce. Through our experiences we hopefully walk away with something. There are always postive things and of course the challenges.

I like to call this "The Sock on the Pile" When we first meet the love of our life, partner, etc. eveything is amazing. He/she snores, it is ok. They leave the toilet seat up, it is ok. They are kinda messy, it is ok. You get where I am going. I can "fix" that. It will change once we get married, I don't mind picking up after them I love them. Now I have just mentioned the obvious things. Silly things really. I have not even touched on bigger things, things that in the end when not talked about WILL lead to divorce or a very unhealthy situation. This is where the "Sock on the Pile" comes in.

Fast forward mmmm maybe 2 years. You are living together, married. The honeymoon phase, as some refer to it, has faded. Remember when you were first getting to know each other, how you talked about communication being so important? Well this is when the break down begins. We let something go that bothers us over and over and over. Never talking about or sharing how we feel. We let it " pile up" until that last sock is thrown on top of the pile and that is when you lose it. Now it has nothing to do with that sock at all, it has all to do with the fact that at the bottom of the pile, under all that stuff is the root of why you are really angry.

I want to  leave you with what I have learned through my experience. Knowing who you are, what you want; limits, desires, boundaries and not being afraid to ask for what you need, that is a recipe for success. Accept someone for who they are, don't try to or think you can change them. A really great book that I share with friends is Love is Letting Go of Fear, by Gerald Jampolsky. A very easy read. Until tomorrow, much love.

I've fallen and I cant get up.

We stumble through life sometimes,  ha, most of the time. What is the purpose? Do you ever just think about that question? Why are we here? I am here to lift up. I am here to encourage. I am here to bring a smile to people faces. I am here to bring beauty to life. I am also here to raise amazing young men.

Most of my life I have dealt with my weight. As a child I was a chunky kid. I was made fun of, called names, spit on, things like that. I left a school because I was called fat and teased. Now I am sharing this with you for a pity party, it is just part of my journey. I lost 80 lbs twice. once in my 20's and again in my 40's. When we are given something, especially twice, I see it as a gift and God trying to tell me something. So sharing my story of hard work and believing I can do it is very important. Now there are tons of weight loss stories out there. People lose weight all the time, but what they don't talk about is the mind part of it.

I use to volunteer my time at the EDU ( eating disorder unit) at Children's Hospital. I would go in and give haircuts. The first time I went in, I cried the whole way home. I had never been so close to such a terrible disease. It broke my heart.  I know we all have someting that we battle with, no one has it all together. If you do leave a comment, I want to pick your brain. :) SO through my second round of weight lose 6 years ago, and coming into perimenapause during it ( cruel joke) gaining 20 back (another cruel joke) and experiencing this in the my 40's, which has been an amazing personal growth decade so far. I found that my brain and thoughts of my body never came with me through the weight lose. Now I hate the word FAT, hate it. Unless used in a sentence, mom those shoes are PHAT! but that is what my brain tells me, it is a consistent conscious effort to change your thoughts and change your life. In my journey people are sent to me to inspire them, like my 16 year old client who I mentioned a couple days ago. Your mind is a powerful thing, remember where you are right now is where you need to be. If you are having trouble moving forward in something, I believe it is because you have not embraced where you are right now. Love you you have become. I do :) Until tomorrow. Much love.

Dating.

When do you get to a point where you are just tired of it? Dating that is. It is a personal thing. The game, the chase. It all becomes so confusing. Well I had this really great conversation with one of my clients today, 21 and so wise. We all have values, we hope. How we were brought up, what our parents represented and did not, our faith, etc. I call that our foundation. If we for some reason did not have the greatest roll models as children we are left to fend for ourselves or Maybe we have another family member, friends parent that left an imprint. If not we are going off of what we know. If we dont know better we dont do better.

Driving myself crazy, but cracking up at the sametime. The online dating became entertainment, bored at home with so many options of sites to chose from. It sounds terrible typing that. Technology has taken getting to know someone to such an impersonal place. I actually had one guy tell me he did not have a bit of chivarly in his body. Dang. What has happened to us? Now not everyone is like that, but the pool is getting smaller. So I have come to the space that you really have to let go and let God. Dont settle for what your heart knows to be true. That feeling, that knowing, that spark, that comfort. I think I have felt it, but was not ready for it. Timing..So I stop looking.

HAHA, now I know some of you have some stories from dating! You should share them in the comment box. Funny ones, awesome ones, crazy ones. I would love to read them. You know my want for this blog is to share the things I have been through with very little fliter. Touch people, lift them up, remind them that we all go through somethuing but it does not define us. We are amazing in our own way.

I want to close with an experience and conversation with another client of mine, 16 years old. the convo was about body image and how hard it can be in high school with girls and looks. Man, I reminded her that the negative things that people say are only a reflection of how they are feeling about themselves, most of the time it has nothing to do with who they are aiming it at. No matter what we need to keep empowering each other with positive. Meet people where they are. My friend said that to me last nght. MEET PEOPLE WHERE THEY ARE. think about it . No power struggle. Until tomoirrow. Much love.

Timing is everything.

As I begin my morning I am faced with the cinnamon rolls that my son picked out at the store staring at me, or the oatmeal with blueberries and coconut milk. The difference bertween your 20's and 40's. Of course I picked the rolls...JK. So, timing...ahh yes, I was right where I suppose to be. Now I dont know about you, but coming off a divorce is like standing in Grand Central station, right in the middle, not moving. So I went back to what I knew, my actions before I got married. It was to much to think about. Especially with kids. Oh man, the hardest part.

So this online dating thing was quite a distraction for me. Just what the doctor ordered. haha. Not really, but you do what you gotta do, right. Those of you reading who have been my clients for a long time probably could vouch for this next part. The dates I would go on, in my mind, I would think, ok this might be it. Dating in your 40's is definitely a bit different then your 20's, or dating guys in their 20's :) I will just leave that alone...for now. I had my share of testing out all the different sites. So many people looking for love. Key word looking. There was actually one guy who had a cut and paste, I would call it a resume, he would email out. In it was his family history detailed right down to their health background. He was not from here,(had my share of those) So he had a mile radius that he would fly because the tickets were under 300.00. For real. You know I had some really great encounters with some really amazing men. To this day are still in my life, you know who you are!

I think for me the whole process of looking has changed. I have to stop looking. Friends have said the word  "organic" naturally or giving it up. It took me 5 years to realize that maybe now I am ready. So many things to reflect on after something ends. Death, a marriage, business. Their was a lot of closure to deal with. The stories I have from all the dates are very colorful. I look forward to sharing a few.

I would like to close today with something that I experienced on Monday with my oldest son. He is on a very spirtual journey right now, which if you know me I embrace because God is my center. On Monday we went to Boulder and sat on Pearl Street mall, doing Kirtan with the Devotees of the Khrisnas. AS I am sitting there, in the middle of Pearl St., shaking my instrument and watching people walk by, some joining us and dancing, some looking at us like I looked at them in the 70's. My main thought was social media, as they are taking pictures and video, this is going to end up on Facebook. Lol, I came away with a lot with this experience. We are all LOOKING for something, just make sure you are looking within also. Don't believe eveything your mind tells you. Until tomorrow. Much love.

Seriously...

You know, I have been thinking about this blogging thing for about, eh, 2 years now. Me and "techy" stuff lets just say I put out street lights when I drive by. Nothing to do with anything. Anyway...I have so much to share. Alot of you have been on this "Life after Divorce" with me as clients. You have to admit, I have some funny stories and some crazy amazing kids!!!

So here we go, the beginning of my journey in my 40's, divorce, parenting and growing up..kinda. Now I don't want to give it all away right away, but I think I will start with "Dating after Divorce" or DAD. Crazy how it works out to that. So, 2009 was the year of transitioning from marriage to ...trying to figure out what was next. You know you go through so much in your head when you make a decision to leave something you thought would last  "forever", till death do you part, etc. I was coming off the death of my mother, my grandmother (in the same year) and my grandpa a year and a half later. Opening 2 salons, and losing 80 lbs. and so much in between. I thought, I am so ready to date. I have been unhappy for awhile, it is time to find someone that treats me the way I deserve to be treated. Right?!

I dont want to get to crazy into the 6 years, but the online dating thing then was really taking off, well it was new to me. Right out of the box I connected with a guy that I had met the first year I had moved here (1996) and fell head over heels for. of course, he was engeaged at that time and I was going to change that... not. Anyway, he found me on yahoo personals and was divorced. I receive an email from him, he had no idea idea it was me. I thought, what a love story, see this is where I am suppose to be...