The beauty in a life passing on.

The outside of her house was immaculate; the inside was full of fear, organized chaos and not letting go. Let's just say my mom would have needed a couple credit cards for the baggage. After my mom passed, being the only child, I was to take a look into what she had left behind. You could say; I really got to know my mom and what a gift it was with a tremendous amount of healing.

The house description is such a perfect metaphor for the appearance of my mom. Always put together from head to toe, but on the inside she was packed full of stuff. My childhood was rocky, lets just leave it at that. You can say I overcame a lot. For that I am am grateful. Up until my 30's I was really a victim of my youth and what my mother had put me through. I say it that way because it feels like that in the mind of a victim. One day in a counseling session, my counselor looked at me and asked me why I was such a victim. I responded with a list of things my mother "did" to me. She just shook her head and said; are you going to keep that for the rest of your life, or are you going to forgive her and start living? She saved my life that day.

The sweetest gift in that was being able to accept my mom for who she was just as she was. The day she passed away I held no anger or resentment only love for her ...the INSIDE of her. When I started the journey of cleaning out a house that she could not and had not lived in for 10 years I Met my mother from the inside out. Her fear brought out the OCD and hoarding disorder. I called it "An archaeological dig". The things on top were from the last year living there all the way down to her birth. I really could go on and on about everything she kept to how many of the same things she had, but the real gift was I learned how much she loved me, which I had once had doubts because of actions.

Let go. Move on. Love. We miss out on so much when we hang on to STUFF. Get to know your parents, love them just as they are. from the inside out. If we don't know better, we don't do better. Know better. Until next time. Much love.

Feeling no need.

So When you finally get to that space when you are semi comfortable in this human suit. The moment when you begin to realize that the things that use to feel so big are really silly. I actually think about the things I use to worry about and shake my head. I have my 48th birthday coming up, 2 years until 50, and I have some goals set. With another decade coming, I feel a major shift with it and it is exciting. I have come to know me in the silence; sometimes it was forced silence. In it I let go of the fear. The unknown, the control, The anxiety, the worry. I had a need to fix it, whatever IT was. I wanted it all to be ok. Well sometimes OK is not OK. Sometimes we need to not be OK.

Are you a fixer? Do you like it all to be a "certain" way? You are going to drive yourself crazy. Another thing I learned about myself is you can not control the response of someone else. All you can do is let them respond, take it in. Take a moment to acknowledge what they are saying. I have found we are backed up with our past. I will explain...here comes another theory. So! You have heard the term "baggage" right?! We all have it. It just depends on if you are checking in at the airport with a carry on or you need a major credit card to pay for you "bags". Think about it. Like attracts like. When we get to a place where we can move about the cabin freely, we really want to attract someone who can do the same thing.

So, don't feel the need to be right, don't feel the need to fix it, don't feel the need to be defensive. Let go of the fear and just be. Be the amazing human you were created to be. Lead with love. Ask for help, embrace you as you. Go out to dinner by yourself and put your phone away, take in those around you in your own silence. You are amazing just as you are. I am grateful for each one of you in your human suits! You shine!!!! Until next time, much love.

Did he really just send me a picture of his....

I heard my text chime go off, picked up my phone and there it was. Have not even met yet and there it was. Shoot. Now I am not knocking what others do, but why before you even meet does it go there?  Are we that lost? What happen to the process of dating, the courtship? Why does that have to be old school? How about talking on the phone? Meeting in person BEFORE we start sending parts of our body?

So before I really began to find my grounding in who I really am and what I really want, I played into all that. Insecurity, word of the day. Feeling like I was not enough. We make silly decision when we are so uncertain of ourself. So what does it take to LOVE who we are? Letting go  of all the chatter in our ear. The old story, tapes, our past etc. What we think about we bring about, for real!! I am sure some of you have read, or have seen the movie, The Secret. Funny because it is not a secret. How about, Change your thoughts, change your life or The book, The Power of Positive thinking. All saying the same thing. So why don't we hop on the train? Why is it so hard to just be positive and happy with who and where we are right now? How about meeting yourself right where you are?

Once we settle into loving and respecting ourself only then can we attract what God wants for us. Get out of your own way. Right?! Let go, relax, breath. Life is pretty darn amazing. About 3 years ago I started seeing random hearts everywhere, it opened my eyes to the fact that there is so much beauty and love in the littlest things, and in places that you would not even normally notice. I started posting them on Facebook. A Really cool thing happened, other people started noticing hearts too and sending me pictures. So AWESOME. I am putting together a book with all of them. That is why we are I here, I believe, to share and pass on love by setting an example in the little things.

Dont settle, you know in your heart what you need. Be true to you. Love you. Dont be so hard on YOU. Ask for what you need. Lead with love. Listen to your insides, that inner voice. I call it a God whisper. Call it what you will, we all have it, TRUST  it. Then most of all share that love and compassion with everyone. We all need it. Until next time, much love.

Forgiveness is the place of peace.

So, what really triggers my next blog is what comes up more than once. As I sit here looking out my windows with an amazing view of the sunset and a full view of the mountain landscape, I sigh. Just moments ago meeting my neighbor across the street , for the first time, he recently moved back in to the house because of his divorce. This was obviously not his choice, which I gathered through our conversation. What is it? what happens? I know on my end and can only reference that. I have had comments and am getting friends thanking me for for the insight of the blog. What is hard to hear is that this thing called divorce is happening so much. 

My ex and I have worked consciously to get to a place where we are not the issue anymore. Our children are in the front line. Believe me it was really rough the first 3 years. I prayed everday for both of us to let our children be greater than our own egos and issues. I have so many stories on being a survivor of something that I did not think would happen, even though I asked for the divorce. When the dust clears and we are left with our selfs, then comes the question, who am I now? Where do I go from here? How do my children recover? How do I recover? 

Forgiveness. The first thing I would like to share is Please do not speak poorly about the other parent in front of your kids. This action creates nothing good or positive. Second, don't use your kids as pawns and pit them against one another. PLEASE. You made a choice together to be adults and bring them into the world, act like it. Third, forgive each other. Look At what you can do, to do things different. You can not change anyone but yourself, stay focused on that. Lead with love. Last, don't beat yourself up, be kind to you. You are going to need to be there for your children and then you will find they will be there for you. Until next time. Much love.

We're going to PUMP..YOU UP!!!

Welcome to cassiedoesblogging HEALTH. So if you remember a couple of blogs back, I said I had gained 20 lbs. back of the 80 that I lost with the ever amazing menopause. Well about 2 months back I ran into a friend of mine that I have not seen in at least 10 years, April Sharrock. April Co-owns Ascent Fitness 4697 E. Evans Ave. Denver.

April and I decided that she is going to train me and I am going to blog/brag about how amazing she is!! I am very excited. Every week I will share my progress and she will share a excersise tip and a nutrition tip, something to look forward to. So there is this really cool machine called the InfrafitX I will have all the details on it next week. April said it gets rid of CELLULITE! You know I am going to be in that everyday.

So here are your tips for this week:
Health tip: If you suffer from a sluggish Thyroid, and even if you dont, you can benefit from adding certain foods in your diet that are rich in essential Nutrients. These foods, like seafood, sunflower seeds, shrimp, seaweed, and turkey not only will help with the production of the thyroid horomone, but will also optimize the thyroid function.

Fitness Tip:
Running short on time? Maybe your motivation has slowed down? Don't skip your workout! Instead pick three excersises and do three sets of 20 of the three you chose. This way you are still moving, and heck it may even motivate you to keep on moving!!
 
So I am really looking forward to sharing with you how things move along!! April and I are also putting together a promotion to share with you in a couple of weeks. Check out all the things Ascent Fitness has to offer. www.ascent-fitness.com or you can call 303-759-5140. Until next week. Much love.

I am in my 30's, I am single and I don't have kids...

So this is an interesting conversation in my salon. I had 3 woman in the same day chatting about this. When something happens more than once for me in the same day I am curious, so here I am and it is the topic. Now ladies, I can sympathize but I can not empathize because I was married and having babies at 31. I remember never really having a biological clock ticking in my body to have kids. If I did not have kids by 35 I was totally fine.

I know there is a comment box below this Blog and I would love to hear from you ladies (hint hint) So, I am coming at you with another theory. We have changed as woman, on so many levels. This change can be a postive and can be challanging for us and for the guys out there. I am going to touch  this subject as PC as possible... Nah, that is not me. So my theory begins, we as woman have certain things in us that are just in us because we are woman. Men have the same things. God made us each a certain way..most of us. As time as gone forward we have evolved as humans so have the rolls changed. Men are staying home and woman are working, woman are in higher paying rolls, etc. you get where I am going. With these shifts and changes woman start expecting more and stop settling for average. Now guys I am not saying you are average, but this means more pressure on you to really step up.

So there is one thing ladies that I need to share, men need attention. Yes we need it to, but it is really important to let them know how much you appreciate what they do for you and the family. Just trust me. If we neglect this it goes south. Whatever your choice of who you chose to love the, Bottom line is, dont take each other for granted, remind each other how amazing they are!! Life is to short. Another book I highly recommend is The 5 Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to your Mate By Gary D. Chapman. Until next time, much love.

I have a theory...ok I have a few theories.

What do we ALWAYS say is the most important thing in a relationship....? Well mine is communication. So my theory begins here. I learned a lot from my divorce. Through our experiences we hopefully walk away with something. There are always postive things and of course the challenges.

I like to call this "The Sock on the Pile" When we first meet the love of our life, partner, etc. eveything is amazing. He/she snores, it is ok. They leave the toilet seat up, it is ok. They are kinda messy, it is ok. You get where I am going. I can "fix" that. It will change once we get married, I don't mind picking up after them I love them. Now I have just mentioned the obvious things. Silly things really. I have not even touched on bigger things, things that in the end when not talked about WILL lead to divorce or a very unhealthy situation. This is where the "Sock on the Pile" comes in.

Fast forward mmmm maybe 2 years. You are living together, married. The honeymoon phase, as some refer to it, has faded. Remember when you were first getting to know each other, how you talked about communication being so important? Well this is when the break down begins. We let something go that bothers us over and over and over. Never talking about or sharing how we feel. We let it " pile up" until that last sock is thrown on top of the pile and that is when you lose it. Now it has nothing to do with that sock at all, it has all to do with the fact that at the bottom of the pile, under all that stuff is the root of why you are really angry.

I want to  leave you with what I have learned through my experience. Knowing who you are, what you want; limits, desires, boundaries and not being afraid to ask for what you need, that is a recipe for success. Accept someone for who they are, don't try to or think you can change them. A really great book that I share with friends is Love is Letting Go of Fear, by Gerald Jampolsky. A very easy read. Until tomorrow, much love.