The officail moment when you realize your child has created their own life.

                                                          

      I was not a woman who had a biological clock. I said to myself, if I dont have kids by 35 I was fine. God had other plans. I met the father of my children. Crazy enough, 6 months later we were pregnant! You know, I actually told him when we met, "I dont think I can get pregnant." Neither here, nor there, I have two incredible young men now. I am grateful for it all. 

     It was 2 years ago that my oldest son met his girlfriend, she is amazing. The connection they have, and the love for one another is something every mother wants for her son. With that comes vurying levels of detachment, for a mom. The first is knowing that your life has shifted, as a mom. The girlfriend moves in as the woman in their life. Some moms have a very hard time with this, there are even movies about it, LOL. As a "conscious mom" I have not wanted to be the " movie mom" if that makes any sense at all. You eye up the girlfriends mom, thankfully  she is pretty awesome. The relationship is going strong, you are so happy that your son has met someone that actually means something to them. They are dating, still living with you.

 The movement changes, they are moving away, excited to create a life together. Now you know at this point it is about support, and encouragement. It wasn't until this very weekend when I realized I was still hanging on to my "child" but he is a young man. Cameron said, " Mom, I need to get home to my family (meaning his girlfriend, breaded dragon and cat) It was then that I realized my role had shifted. 

It is tough to accept that shift, I didn't sleep the 8 hours I knew he had to drive in the snow, but with the shift, we keep that to ourselves. I now know that this is what comes with parenting, we give up our winter coats for them to be warm. Not to gain accolades, but because it is what we do. 

Until next time, Love is letting go. 

P.S. I have one more to go .....

 What am I afraid of?

Loving. I don’t think I have a real grasp on that. I listen to all the love songs, read the poetry of those who have felt it, deep. I thought I had it once. I have not really let anyone in since then. Why? 

I ask myself, will it happen again? Letting God lead the way. Release the control, fear. On the other side of fear is love. I can’t seem to get there. There is a couple sitting next to me on the plane. They are on the way to seal the last details of there wedding. Their energy feels like they have only been together for moments, it has been 8 years. We live to find that energy. 

We must love ourselves, before we can be loved, They say. Did I love myself when I first felt love? What is different now. I am grown, love my career, two amazing young men. I feel grounded in me, what is the hold up? I don’t have a problem going on a first date, what I long for is wanting a second one. People say, I don’t mind being by myself. I have been speaking that to myself for years. Lies. Maybe I need to change my mantra. 

I welcome you in, I am open to your love, thank you for loving me. 

Much love ️ until next time.

 No Expectations 

What if we lived our life with no expectations? No expectations of anything or anyone. I believe we would be living in the moment of each experience. 

We need to know our lane, that clear path. How to act, if you will. Society doesn’t encourage living in the moment. Everything is mapped out. Movies have a rhythm and presentations have a flow. I understand structure, but what about balance? What about embracing people right where they are? 

 There is freedom in sharing a love so free, with no expectations and no labels. There is only ease and passion. Normally I try to figure things out, we are human after all, but the energy within this connection will not allow me to. It is the craziest thing ever, yet it is the most peaceful existence. 

There is freedom within peace. When we set expectations on people there is no room for freedom. There is a pressure to perform. It truly brings humans closer together. Expectations push us away. 

I feel like a lot of us go through life like wounded animals. Peaking our heads out to make sure it is okay. Did I do that the right way? Did I say something wrong? Is that what they “expected?” It gives me anxiety typing it. 

I will leave you with this. The next time you engage with someone, a lover, a friend, or family, just come to them with love. Ask them how their heart is, then listen. No expectations, only love. 

Much love, ️ until next time. 

--

THE LOST FILES.

 I sat, going through the scrap book of my mom and dads musical journey. A journey I only heard about. I felt lost, and cheated out of the knowing. What if this love would have lasted here on earth? Would I be different? I couldnt help feeling like it was my fault. I was born, so there for both of your journeys shifted.

Our journey is about the story. It makes us stronger and more resilient. In all honesty, I am tired of being stronger and resilient. I long for the ease and strength from another. Many come to us with the belief that they can fulfill this. The truth is, they come to us with their story and need for fulfillment. It has nothing to do with us. How do we bring together two humans, each with their own story, and be as one? 

The answer is complex. What I know to be true is, acceptance. Acceptance of each other, as we are. No judgement. No expectations, only love and communication. The secret sauce to making a beautiful roux. Maybe then we won’t feel so lost. Maybe then we shift together, instead of apart. Until next time ♥️ so much love. 

Leaving the nest.

I am sitting on a plane heading home from teaching a class, and thoughts go through my head about how I am going to respond on Wednesday when my son is sworn into the Navy, and leaves for boot camp. Mom’s and their sons. This is the first time he will be away from me since birth. I know all the sensible things, this is so good for him and his future, I am so proud of him, he will come out of this better on so many levels. It doesn’t make it any easier to say good bye.

This is part of the circle of life, we know our children will leave, shoot, if we were to be honest, there were moments when they were growing up we were like, Hmmm, when do they go on their own. LOL. When that day comes, there is an empty feeling that comes over you. For the past 20 years I have been living with them in mind. Everything I do, every move I make, every grocery I buy, everything has been centered around my amazing sons.

What do we do with the empty nest? I seriously never thought I would feel this way, or say empty nest, but it is. I understand what it means now. Well, almost, there is still one in the nest yet 😊 and I am grateful for that. I can’t even think about that day, when he leaves. So, what goals do we set? How do we take care of that space we now have?  What do we do for ourselves? Some would say, Cassie, you are already so busy! Yes, I do keep myself busy that way, but what they don’t know is, Cameron and I have coffee every morning, he is the one I call when I need something done, he is the one that comes and sits on my bed and just hangs with me while I am doing my makeup. The little things, which are really very big things.

I trust God will guide him, watch over him and he will feel my love, always. I will now settle into creating more memories with my last one in the nest daily. Focus on the now, and not when it is his turn to fly. I will watch Cameron from afar continue to grow as the incredible young man he is and say prayers of gratitude for the life I have been given with these young men. Many blessings and love to the moms out there nudging their birds out of the nest, yet wanting to grab a feather when the time comes for them to fly. We know there is peace in release. Fly my son, the nest will always be here.

Until nest time, much love …

The 6 month HRT update!!

Well I am very tardy with this information of my HRT journey!! But let me tell you, it has saved my life. I had my first pellets placed in as my birthday present to myself on June 26th( my bday) now I am not sure if you remember, but my levels were all way low. As a woman our testosterone level sound be at 200 and mine was 2 ....what!!!! Yes, no sex drive, tired, anxiety brother the list goes on. Also my estrogen, progesterone and my thyroid were all just as low. I really had no idea how bad I felt until I started with HRT.

It took me about a week to Acclimate, I went from having almost nothing, to this surge of hormones coming back to normal. You have to remember , I haven’t had my period since 2014, so all the things like , bloating , sore breasts, and tired. All the normal PMS stuff was now showing up. I was like wait a minute this is not what I signed up for ...lol. I called the Denver Bio Health and they reassured me , again, that all that was normal but to let them know if I felt worse. It was literally a day after that phone call I woke up feeling like a million bucks!! I slept through the night with no night sweats, I had energy, I wanted sex (that is a little dangerous lol) I felt sexy again, No hot flashes, anxiety gone.  My body shifted physically, bloating was gone, My life was back. They literally saved my life .

I am about to go in for my third round on the 18th, normally the pellets last 3-4 months for some, I am one of the women that at 2 1/2 months my night sweats coming back are the first sign I need to make my appointment. I can tell you that I will never go without it. The beautiful thing about where I go is they are so attentive to each person individually. They are taking your blood work on the regular to make sure your levels are where they need to be. They check in on you to make sure you have all supplements. I have been singing there praises for the last 5 months and a couple of my girlfriends actually went and got their levels checked and they were low! (Their boyfriends can thank me later )

Taking the time for you, realizing that you don’t have to feel that way. There is something that can give you your life back!! Don’t wait like I did, they are saying that vitamin D they are treating like a hormone now and if it is low it can cause health issues. Ladies and men please don’t sit on it and feel awful, go in and get your blood work done at a place that actually just specializes in this. They are attentive to YOUR NEEDS, your levels and they are compounded just for you!

As always sweet friends , until next time and much love ️

Natural Bio Health
5350 S. Roslyn St. #450
Greenwood Village, CO. 80111
720-480-4068

The Awakening

June 26th, 2018. I turned 51, and made a choice. I made a choice to shift, shift me, how I feel and see things. My birthday gift to myself, having the pellets put in and start HRT at Denver Bio Health. I also did something else really big for me, I quit drinking. Now it is not like I drank every night, passing out kind of drinking, but when I would drink I just wanted to keep going. I enjoyed having a glass of wine in the evening, hanging out with friends. It seems like gatherings include that most of the time. They say everything in moderation right? Well sometimes how we are made, does not work that way.

I shared with you when I went in for my appointment to go over my blood work, well what I did not share was one of my liver enzyme numbers was 2 points above the normal. Sonia Mookherjea, the PA said not to be to concerned, she also shared with me what might cause this increase, and that we will watch it. I believe God nudges us, he gives us a heads up. That was my heads up, it was very concerning for me. Alcoholism runs in my family, my mom, grandpa and I am sure there were more. So that was my nudge to say, no more. Life is about moderation, for me alcohol is not one of them. I have to walk away from it, and you know what it feels great! It is that timing thing again, it is time. I have been sitting in when I think about it, what are the triggers that take me back to it. The decision to take this step was one of the best Birthday gifts I could have given myself.

Now for the second gift, I told you I would share the step by step of the HRT with you. I started progesterone and thyroid meds a couple days before I had the estrogen and testosterone pellets put in. I immediately started sleeping through the night because of the progesterone, it was amazing. I also started taken on my own Vitamin D, and will be receiving a prescription from her for that this week. Now when I say prescription I don't mean synthetic, everything is made just for me and where I am low in what category. All natural. You know Suzanne Somers has been talking about this for years, she has also written tons of books too. The pellets are the size of rice, and go in the fatty part of your bum. They numb your bum, make a slice about 1 1/2 inches and place them in. I did not feel a thing and it took about 5 minutes. I have waited a week to share this with you, just to see how I am feeling. I feel like my body is like WOW, what is happening here. It has been 4 years since I have had a period. That means that my all my levels have been low for a long time. The doctor said it will take a little bit for my body to get use to have the levels back to "normal" again.

"The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us, but those who win battles we know nothing about" I am choosing to share with you my story, because we all have the ability to rewrite it at anytime. Until next time, much love.

Natural Bio Health
5350 S. Roslyn St. Suite 450
Greenwood Village, Co. 80111
720-482-4068